I REALLY PREFER TO LEAD A POLITE, QUIET, UNOBTRUSIVE LIFE, DEVOID OF REASONS FOR COMPLAINT, LEAVE THAT TO THE COMPLAINTS KOOKS
AND I DON'T NEED PREFERRENTIAL TREATMENT, LEAVE THAT TO THE ATTENTION JUNKIES AROUND HERE, I JUST ASK FOR RESPECTFUL TREATMENT, THE KIND EVERYONE ELSE GETS
PLEASE DON'T LET ME TELL YOU HOW TO RUN YOUR BUSINESS, YOU OUGHT TO KNOW HOW
I OUGHT TO KNOW, I WAS A PUBLICIST FOR EONS, DID 'ADVANCE WORK' WHILE CLIMBING THE
A&R LADDER AT THE RECORD COMPANY
AS A SIDE BENEFIT, WE GOT ACE LESSONS IN LAW AND PR
AS MUCH AS WE ADMIRED A CERTAIN 'MOB ETHIC', STILL EVIDENT IN GREAT SHOW TOWNS LIKE
MEMPHIS, LAS VEGAS, AND NASHVILLE, WE LEARNED THE GOLDEN RULE OF 'THE CLIENT IS KING', AND HOW TO INTERACT WITH AN EVER GROWING AND DIVERSE PUBLIC, AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, WE TREATED EVERYONE THE SAME, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH WE MIGHT HAVE DESPISED THEM, BECAUSE THEY WERE INCORRIGIBLE HICKS, LIKE COLONEL TOM OR ELVIS
BUT GUESS WHAT? IF WE WORKED THERE LONG ENOUGH YOU COULD BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR
WE TRANSFORMED FROM JUDGEMENTAL CREEPS INTO THE MOST UNABASHED CHAMPIONS OF THE UNDERDOG, BECAUSE GOOD BEHAVIOUR, IT WAS DRILLED INTO YOUR LITTLE BRAINS,
WOULD END UP SELLING MORE RECORDS THAN ANY DJ ON PAYOLA, AND THAT IS STILL TRUE
TO THIS VERY DAY
SO TREAT EVERY LAST GODDAMNED CLIENT WITH RESPECT, THEY MIGHT END UP BEING YOU MAIN SQUEEZE, SO 'IF YOU TALK THAT TALK, WALK THAT WALK'
'PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS' WAS ANOTHER FAVORITE, BUT BASICALLY, YOU WERE TRAINED TO BE THE BEST 'SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN' YOU COULD BE, AND IF YOU WERE UNABLE
TO FILL THAT REALLY SIMPLE BILL, AFTER A FEW TRIES AT TRYING TO CONVERT YOU, THEY JUST FIRED YOUR ASS, AS INCOMPETENT
SO WE WERE AVID FOLLOWERS OF THE 'NO ASSHOLE' RULE, AND THE SOLITARY ASSHOLE THAT WAS HIRED WAS BANISHED TO ALASKA, WHERE THEY SENT ANYONE ELSE NEEDING A LESSON
IN MANNERS, UNTIL THEY LEARNED HOW TO ACT
LONG WINDED? NO, I BEG TO DIFFER, JUST TRYING TO BE ACCURATE, A BIG PLUS IN A COURT OF LAW
SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO THINK WHEN AN EMPLOYEE AROUND HERE IS AN ASSHOLE?
IF YOU BUZZ EVERYONE IN AROUND HERE, BUT ME, BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE ME, IS THAT
FAIR TREATMENT? YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO FEEL LIKE THE LAST 'NIGGER' OUT THERE,
THE ONLY ONE FISHING FOR HIS KEYS IN THE RAINSTORM, SERVES ME RIGHT FOR BEING SMARTER THAN YOU, OLDER, AND A CITIZEN OF THE USA LONGER
YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION DOESN'T SAY YOU HAVE TO LIKE ANYONE AROUND HERE, DOES IT? BUT I'LL BET YOUR BOSSES EXPECT YOU TO BE POLITE TO EVERYONE, EVEN IF YOU HATE THEIR GUTS
NO? OH YOU MEAN YOU GET TO CHOOSE PETS LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL? AND HAVE THE SAME SOPHOMORIC, IGNORANT ATTITUDES YOU HAD THEN? WHAT A FABULOUS JOB!
THEY ADVERTISE FOR A CLERK BUT INSTEAD SETTLE FOR GOD ALMIGHTY! WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? A COMPUTER REPAIR COMPANY IN INDIA WHO HIRES GOD ALMIGHTYS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS? BUT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU 'FUCK OFF, SUCKER' BETTER THAT ANY NEW YORKER?
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T WORK DOESN'T MEAN I'D RATHER NOT, AND THE FACT I'M NOT YOUR CURRENT BOSS IS JUST YOUR GOOD FUCKING LUCK
GROW UP, GO BACK TO SCHOOL TO LEARN WHAT 'PROFESSIONAL' MEANS, OBVIOUSLY YOU
SKIPPED THAT CLASS, AND ALL YOUR 'MISS MANNERS' ONES TOO
OH, AND YOUR ELDERS CAN'T BE ALL CLASSED AS OLD, CRAZY, AND DEFENSELESS, BECAUSE I'M DEFINITELY NOT, ASSHOLE
I'D ALSO LIKE TO ADD, THOUGH I THINK YOUR BEHAVIOUR SUCKS, I JUST LIVE AND LET LIVE, I CAN UNDERSTAND EVEN YOUR RUDE ASS DESERVES A JOB, A LIVING, AFTER ALL, IT'S
THE AMERICAN WAY, RIGHT?
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